




There is one barrier to love that deserves special mention because it is so crucial to the second call of Jesus Christ- Fear. Most of us spend considerable time putting off the things we should be doing or we would like to do, but are afraid to do. We are afraid of failure. We don’t like it, we shun it, we avoid it because of our inordinate desire to be thought well of by others. So we come up with a thousand brilliant excuses for doing nothing. We put off things, waste the energies of life and love that are within us. And the judgment of the Lord High Executioner in The Mikado on the girl who perpetually procrastinated falls on us: ‘She’ll never be missed; no, she’ll never be missed.’
Each of us pays a heavy price for our fear of falling flat on our faces. It assures the progressive narrowing of our personalities and prevents exploration and experimentation. As we get older, we only do thing we do well. There is no growth in Christ Jesus without some difficulty and fumbling. If we are going to keep growing we must keep risking failure throughout our lives. When Max Planke was awarded the Nobel Prize for his discovery of quantum theory, he said, ‘Looking back over the long and labyrinthine path which finally lead to discovery, I am vividly reminded of Goethe’s saying that men will always be making mistakes as long as they are striving toward something.’”
-Brennan Mannning in The Ragamuffin Gospel
John Piper in Future Grace writes of a massive oak tree that stands outside his window. While the tree is visibly massive from the ground up “what is not seen is the roots. That’s the way it is with roots. They support everything but they don’t get much attention. The more massive the tree, the more massive the root system. It’s there, and if we could see it then we would be amazed. We would understand why this tree is still standing after decades of wind and lightening and hail and heat.”
Now that I have been in China I have spoken to many people who have told me that I am brave for coming and adventurous and how proud they are of me for making the step and so on. People ask me why I came and how am I adjusting to life and all sorts of questions, and I have recently realized that the answer to all these questions is my support system back home, my roots.
Being away from my friends and family physically has shown me that despite me not being able to see my support system it is there. Like the roots of a tree, I can only stand because I know that I am supported from something so deeply rooted that nothing will make me fall, no matter what comes my way. The reality is that the strength of my support system has gotten me through many hard times and challenging times. Times when I felt so much loss that I didn’t think anything could fill the void; times of confusion when I couldn’t make sense of anything; times when I was scared and times when I needed to be grounded back to reality. I have been encouraged and lifted up and prayed for more than I know and have realized and have acknowledged, and because of this I am able to be where I am today.
And I realize that it is the people who have come and gone in my life that have given my roots to be strong and to trust and to know that no matter what happens someone will be there to catch me and support, no matter where I am, even if I am in China. Despite my questioning of faith and God I have had amazing people to remind me what it is to be a Christian and the unwavering promises of God. I have had people speak louder to me through their actions and their own struggles than any words could express. Without my friends and family I know, without a doubt, I would not be who I am or where I am today. Without the support that so often goes unnoticed and unrecognized I know that I would not have the strength that I do and the sense of adventure that I have.
And so I thank you. I thank you for being my roots; something so deep that I can’t even recognize it or know its depths. And so if you want to know how is it that I am adapting to life in China, know that part of the answer is you. The knowledge of knowing that I have a group of people supporting me and encouraging me along the way makes life here so much easier. And as my roots have gotten me through so much I know that whatever comes my way across the world I will be able to handle it and grow from it.
* Sorry for the sappiness of this post... I am in a contemplative state of mind :)